It has been a while since I posted on this blog. I have so many things to talk about.
Yesterday, I made iced coffee latte with my mom’s grounded coffee beans. It wasn’t the strongest coffee flavor I’ve ever tasted, but the caffeine was the strongest.
I’ve had iced mocha from several coffee shops before. They used espresso but it didn’t mess with myself as much as this.
After I drank that coffee, half an hour later I felt so strange. I had to move, I felt like I was in the skies. I kept slapping my hand because fireworks were inside my body. I didn’t know what I needed, all I know is I had to move my body.
So, I jumped here and there. I spun my body like a Beyblade. I talked to myself. It was euphoric. I had never been this kind of “happy” before.
Today, all the bad aftereffect washed over me. For inexact reasons, I cried really uglily. There was nothing in particular that happened, or bad news.
It was just… empty. My heart was empty, soulless, meaningless.
Then, my sister and I went to the hospital to fetch things for my mom. My dad had his stomach liquid extracted, his body was skinny. My mom was looking after him. Hopefully he could come home soon. I miss my parents.
The following after, my sister and I went to nearby Marugame Udon for dinner. We chose the most popular menu, she chose Niku Udon and I chose my favorite—Beef Curry Udon.
After some talks, she announced to me that she was infatuated with her boss, which was butch lesbian.
I was out of words. I KNEW, I’VE SEEN THIS COMING FOR WEEKS. But, her confirming my suspicion, it was really a surprise for me.
What would my parents think of this? My mom warned me before if my dad got a hear of this, his illness might get worse.
I didn’t disapprove my sister became queer. It was just.. The timing, the place, and my dad being sick like this, was horrible.
After some discussion, my sister asked me to come to meet her boss. It looked like nobody could change her mind. She said even her friends were homophobic towards this.
She actually had been trying to make me to meet her boss, but I didn’t want to. I.. don’t know what to feel about this.
I’ve been supportive of LGBT+ community, but looking at the situation here, and one of the closest persons in my life being one, is different.
After a long ride home, and few talks exchanged, I suddenly broke into tears for the second time. This time, with my sister as an audience.
I’ve hardly ever cried in front of people, even to my family. Because it’d be embarrassing.
I said my life was perfect then, we had everything. Everyone was healthy, happy, and complete. Now, my life had cracks on it. Especially when the news my dad had lung cancer came out. Our financial came to a doom.
It was killing me. How my friends’ lives were perfect, how their financial thrived, they were getting prettier, nicer, kinder, smarter.
While I was still stuck in the past, holding onto my childhood-self who were slowly drifting apart. I felt disabled.
Lots of photo dumps because I didn’t feel like writing anything.
I hate that I always sleep A.M. nowadays. It’s not even midnight, I sleep in the morning what the heck
Durian ice cream w chocolate fudge
I don’t like this flavor of Diamond Ice Cream. Don’t get me wrong, I love the king of fruit & I like the durian ice cream which my mom’s old friend sells. He used coconut milk for that, UGH I LOVE ES KRIM MEDAN
But this one tastes VERYYYYYYY ARTIFICIAL. No real durian at all, at least use the puree please PT SUKANDA DJAYAAA
Made corn cheese, inspired to make by korean mukbang vids
I added more sugar than intended because the corn itself wasn’t sweet enough (I boiled it instead of steaming because didn’t wanna wash many pots). So all the sweetness was diluted to the boiled water. My mom used that as a veggie stock for soup
Niceeee but wasn’t as WOW as I expected. Watch out, this dish has high calorie.
Veggie patty for vegetarian day
Bought black beans online specially for this. We always go vegetarian on the 1st and 15th every month (based on lunar calendar). Taste okay when u eat it right away, but better when it’s been left for sometime. Then, it taste more like meat
By the way it crumbled apart, then I had to pulse it more to make the cooked black beans softer. Next time, I have to boil the beans more until mushy (btw i boiled 1 hour). The recipe indicated canned black beans but we try to reduce canned products. Bad for your health!
Completed it with homemade burger buns but didn’t took a nice pic of them together.
i forgot if i had posted this before?
Oh and I made this cute edit but didn’t make it to my feed. Love it so much and I can’t throw it away so I’ll post here.
I love playing zepeto so much, if only I’m rich enough to spend money carelessly on games currency like these.
Cute
My former schoolmate ordered this. V cuteeeeeeee heheheheh so happy bcs it turned out well!
Yesterday I drank soju omg I love korean alcohols aaaaa
I was out of it so I wanted to buy some online. They closed the shop because of the Islamic fasting month and eid. :((
Experimental thai tea caramel sauce for the second time. Everything’s almost perfect except for the meringue method of making the genoise and caramel sauce. The caramel sauce was kept in the fridge for several weeks and had crystallized. It was too thick to my liking too, might have to customize it
I failed at making whole wheat bread yesterday. Again. I didn’t have that many success modifying bread’s flour. I did almost exactly as the recipe said. Whole wheat was a lil bit tricky because the wheat bran inside it could pierce through gluten to prevent it from forming into fluffy delicious bread.
I soaked the mixture overnight to soften it, but still… the dough was weak so it couldn’t rise properly when being introduced to the oven.
The shape was funny though, like the manray villain in Spongebob. The head lol
Too bad I didn’t take a picture.
The bread wasn’t very nice and a bit coarse to my liking so I searched on tiktok for some easy ideas. If I’m serious about cooking/baking smth, I’m going to go to pinterest or allrecipes. If I want to do something new, I have to watch youtube for the method.
Lastly, if I’m just gonna whip up leftover or something easy like anak kosan meal, I’m going to go tiktok because they have numerous “unprofessional” recipes. It’s mostly super easy and you can cook it (well most of the times) even if you’re a bad cook. The ingredients are mostly available in your pantry as well.
yass mozzarella corndogss made from the whole bread slices
It was super good, idk, it was better than korean corn dog that I make on regular basis. Idk if it’s because of the bread slices keeping the cheese warm, or I cook it longer, the cheese was stringy. Just like the ones you see on youtube.
But you have to eat it while it’s warm. About 5-30 minutes since you fried it.
bluetooth for connecting to your phone
I have to put it here just in case I lose this pic. Otherwise, we have to keep trying all channels to see which one to connect.
Tomorrow I’m going to use more leftover bread slices into risoles cus my sis is obsessed with it.
You don’t get it. For me, I love lots of things. Food, desserts, Heck I probably love most of them.
But my sister, she’s very picky. She doesn’t hate things (well, some), but neither does she like it. So, for her to like something is very WOW-ing. I’m gonna make it tomorrow, idk if we still have leftover chicken breasts. Oh well, I could just make veggie risol or mayo risol.
Sleep please
Why do I keep sleeping in the morning, not at night? I don’t even do anything, I’m jobless piece of shit
I want to send this to somebody, but don’t have anybody match to the saying. Mostly the people I loved had become mere acquaintances by now. If that’s not the case, meeting them isn’t an accident because we met at school or institutes. It’s kinda inevitable, unlike strangers who passed by.
so trueCooked this egg tomato dish days ago (3 days?)
Mom didn’t cook so I had to cook last minute. Searched on youtube (Devina’s channel) for an egg dish that I hadn’t make before. Taste-wise: okay. Not spectacular, probably won’t make again if I have other choices. Tasted like telur dadar, tomato, onion, and ketchup. Well they were the ingredients.
It’s just… I think a good dish combines all ingredients into one new flavor because they blend in harmoniously. For instance, if spiced right, you wouldn’t taste the individual spices. You would savor a new kind of feeling. Like curry.
Mini carrot cake
Kinda trial for my upcoming cake menu. I love carrot cake so much (as long as it doesn’t contain any dried fruits). Loved it but the cake taste a bit rubbery and crumbly. Need to fix the cream to be more stable.
made sushi for the first time
Remember the previous post? Yeah the ingredient was finally made into sushi. JAPANESE RICE REALLY MADE THE DIFFERENCE. Mix with rice vinegar and sugar. Nori. Yum. Whatever the filling was.
We didn’t have green tea so we used chinese black tea I bought from tea merchant in Singapore.my mom marinade the chicken while i fried it
I coated it three times to make thick batter of skin. So worth it man, next time when you fry plain chicken, go for three times dip.
It’s nice actually to post pics on the blog since I don’t like to keep pictures that I will look twice a year. It’s wasting space on my phone.
So if I’m nostalgic, I can come here and read all these silly posts (I’m pretty sure if I re-read all of these, I’d be embarrassed lol).
Oh, and I’m going to get my 2nd vaccination soon.
Now that I cut connections with people, I feel lonely. I want to be loved.
Hey you, love me.
But I won’t do the same cause all I think about is myself. I just like being loved.
It’s kind of dangerous actually, because people can manipulate me with that.
Today mom taught me how to peel boiled eggs. I thought because the eggs were too fresh, so the eggs would stick to the shells. Turned out when my mom did it, it was effortlessly clean.
You have to crush the shells evenly, and a lot. Then, you peel from the air bubble part. The rest is easy peasy.
Mom asked me to make carrot & apple juice for Dad. Ok juicer is fun and all until you have to wash it. Pain in the ass because the pulps would get stuck in it.
Saw this trend on tiktok where you search your name on this site. This meant that someone sent anonymous text to the person with the same as yours to this website. Feel free to feel like someone actually wrote that for you.
And damn I tell you, this shit is accurate af. My name was quite uncommon, so I thought no one would write to other people with my name. The first thing I saw was on point.
I know it’s most likely not for me, but for the other person who shares my name. But hey it’s okay to be imaginative alright, otherwise the world would be boring
I actually knew this website years ago, but I was just meh. I think I also did this, but I wasn’t as emotionally as now lol
My order arrived today! Yay, I could make sushi. We still had salmon mom bought the other day. And avocados, crab meat. Stay tuned for upcoming sushiiiii
whisk whisk whisk
Made chocolate hot fudge today, yoo-hoo! It was like chocolate syrup but thicker and more flavorful. I fell in love with this since I first ate A&W’s and KFC’s chocolate sundae. Didn’t know how to make it until now
By the way, I recommend you to listen to San Fransisco Street by Sun Rai when you cook something. Not that I did that today, but this idea suddenly came across my mind.
sister’s
MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD AND THEY’RE LIKE IT’S BETTER THAN YOURSS
mine, we didn’t have fancy glasses or mugs
Uh I should probably work at a café or smth. These were chocolate milkshakes topped with whipped cream and MORE hot fudge.
Lemme tell you it was superb! Tasted like the ones I used to drink regularly at Pizza Hut. I stopped drinking it since middle school cause my mom said it’d made me fat :((((((( I’ve never drank milkshakes ever since.
Until now. Whoa boom! So happy. Like the drink gave me nostalgia of my happy younger self, who’s brave and not care about shits like what people say or think.
This was my dinner. Hehe too sinful
I told my mom my sister was so lucky to be one of my siblings, cause I serve foods for them. Actually, them liking what I made is one of my delight. Sssh don’t tell them, I’m not used to being emotional with those dumbasses
These past weeks went pretty well since I didn’t cry. You’re doing a good job *is me telling to myself*
I miss my online friends even though I basically ghosted them. Idk sometimes socializing is too much. And if you spend times too much with them, it’s getting boring especially when they don’t even try to make it interesting.
I love you. And you, and you too. I love you all.
This world is too full of hatred. I’ve heard and seen lots of people said
“Ugh don’t you hate it when”
“I don’t like her doing this—”
“They make me sick”
“Okay no offense, but—”
Why are we so nit-picky with things? Why don’t we see the good instead of the bad?
So I’m trying to find something to love in a person, instead of feeling disgusted or enraged by their little habits.
Sometimes because we see the black, we turn a blind eye to the white.
If you’re sad or angry, it’s going to be disease for you, not them. It’s going to rot inside of you. That’s what my mom kinda used to tell me.
Don’t get mad, she said. It’s not going to benefit anybody.
She’s absolutely correct. Instead of feeling the negative energy, we could find a solution or remedy instead. By not punching them or destroying properties of course. Not me, I’m not that type of person.
When my sister got mad at me, she’d slam all my things on my desk. Punch me, kick me. Screamed at my face.
I would shouted too, and expressed my emotion. But I had and I would never ever destroy things, even if I was hoping that would hurt her.
Why? First, because she would slam my other things again. Second, and the most importantly, destroying things wouldn’t do you any good. For me, for her. We would suffer from the aftermath instead. That’s just plain foolish.
I heard people would punch the wall, crack the mirror.
No. Just no. That’s a sign of anger issues. You’re emotionally unstable. You should find ways to resolve it, going to therapist, seeking emotional help, etc. It shouldn’t be normalized.
That’s like an animal behavior where you couldn’t think clearly. Ok to be fair, some animals have high IQ, but not as high as human’s.
We are granted with the ability to think to surpass any other living things. Things like what I mentioned above are most likely to be repeatable. Repeat more and more until it become a habit.
Why did I start talking so much whenever I’m on this website?
Anyway, I’m enjoying this. Talking to myself, OH! This is one of my way to harmlessly resolve my emotional issues.
Two days ago I made japchae. It’s a famous korean noodle dish, using this korean glass noodle which tastes a bit similar to sagu noodle. you can see in the pic it was translucent.
Using the power of the internet
The holy mother source of knowledge
At least I barely made it. Didn’t know how to properly prepare this? So yeah I just followed my intuition and basic cooking skill.
Yo I think I disobeyed a lot of the recipe’s instruction.
You know this korean glass noodle YIELDS A LOT more than they look. I thought it’d be the same case as pasta. In case you didn’t know, raw pasta (like spaghetti, fettuccine) don’t expand a lot once they’re cooked.
too many toppings
I was using 100 g noodle, oh boy when I thought it wouldn’t be enough for me and my sister, it turned out to yield 3-4 servings after I cooked it up. We couldn’t finish it by the day.
Harvest time!
Look at my pretty basil leavesssss
So fresh so fragrant so green. I could use this for spaghetti/pizza sauce or even a topping on pizza. I used it for tomato soup too. ONCE YOU ADD THIS AND OREGANO TOGETHER IN A DISH, IMMEDIATE ITALIAN-IZED.
smol mint leaves
It was hard to cultivate mint from seeds tho. Since mint seedlings are kinda hard to find here, I had to sow the seeds myself. Uh, growth rate range 1~5% from the total seeds packet.
The leaves were smol too :(((( I searched it up on google and they said mint roots could easily take up all the space in the pot.
So yeah I’m probably going to transplant my mint plant today. So they can become bigger and healthy yay
But idk to do with the mint leaves tho? Should I make mint extract? Gotta buy vodka but I’m still underage—the online marketplace restrict my access to alcoholic drinks ;(
cookie crust choux
I got leftover pastry cream so I decided to make diplomat cream for my choux. I experimented with the ratio of craquelin. I added more flour so it was easier for me to cut it out. Look, they were crispier and thicker. My sister mentioned “tougher”, but it was okay for me.
The cracks tasted like cookie, and they stay crispy longer than usual craquelin.
Looked like the beard papa’s no?
supposed to be vanilla diplomat cream but i forgot to add it, so plain diplomat cream? still yummy tho
I think I prefer diplomat cream rather than pastry cream because it was less starchy and eggy. More to milky and fluffy cream
I think the worst filling is whipped cream because it’s like eating air (same reason I don’t like cotton candy). No rich flavor at all.
I like this version of choux better. Should I sell it? Umm still have to fix it to a perfect version.
by juicy luicynot related but beautifoollll caption
Salah gak sih kalo gua jealous lu senang? Kaya senang gitu hidup tanpa gua. Emang lu ga mikirin gua samsek?
Whatsapp gua juga jarang dibales, lu bilang sibuk karena kuliah.
Oke mungkin lu emang sibuk jadi mahasiswa kedokteran, gua kan gatau, tapi jujur gua ragu lu beneran sibuk atau ngehindarin gua.
Your friends don’t even like me. Red flag sih ini karena gua orangnya ga bener yakan? Mungkin mereka juga provoke lu buat ga berhubungan sama gua lagi.
Selfish gak sih ini? Mungkin aja lu emang berusaha move on dari gua, tapi gua seenak jidatnya wa lu lagi tanpa rasa bersalah gitu. Dan juga gua merlakuin lu semena mena pas lu masih suka sama gua.
Sumpah gua kangen lu grey. Asli. Tapi gua ga kangen lu in a romantic way. Kaya sedih aja sahabat gua ilang, tapi gua gabisa maksa lu buat stay karena itu egois banget.
Anjg ini mba dhea pls relatable banget kesel gua
Gua ampe ngescroll komen video yutubnya wkwk
gua pengen tetap di zona nyaman itu sama lu
Awalnya gua seneng lulus SMA gitu, bisa bebas dari lu. Cape gua dijodoh jodohin sama guru + temen tang mentang lu suka ama gua. Sampai si andrew tuh mau ngeledek gua aja dihadang sama yg lain. Kalo cowo mau main sama gua aja waswas sama lu, seolah olah gua ini milik lu? Kea apa anjir
Risih lah
Hey gua masih available guys, jangan memutus jalur perjodohan gua pls
Trus tambah hormon anak remaja, ya kebawa perasaan gua jadi ya kasar sama lu. Ga bisa dibenerin sih perbuatan gua, emang.
Sedih gua kehilangan orang baik kaya lu. Sebatu batunya gua, aslinya uwu loh jan salah sangka. Gua sedih, tp gaberani bilang. Kangen. Pengen jalan jalan lagi. Belajar bareng. Pengen ngumpul sama temen lu, temen gua. Karaoke di mobil sepupu lu. Beli kerupuk cabe.
SIAPA LAGI YG BAKAL DENGERIN CURHATAN GUA WOI
Walau kalo lu curhat lu selalu ke orang lain, sial
You’re the purest ball of happiness, baby
Kaya gaada aura negatif di lu dah. Sumpah ya gua gangerti kenapa masih ada orang kaya lu, yg emang sifatnya itu memancarkan kebaikan. Kek anjir sih kok lu mikirnya bisa sebaik gitu, kok bisa lu ngga marah
Mirip ade gua, bener bener ga merasa keberatan diminta ini itu. Walau lu bucin sama gua, tp kalopun orang lain minta tolong sama lu pasti selalu dibantu. Gua juga ngebantu, tapi masalahnya gua pasti ngedumel dalam hati wkwk ga ikhlas
Lu bikin gua jadi orang yg lebih baik, tapi gua ngerasa gua ngerusak lu. Bukan jd anak bandel mabokan blablabla, tp ngerusak mental lu. Gua ga berperasaan banget gua sampe kesal kalo diinget inget
Iya iya toxic gua emang babi
Bertahun tahun gua gapengen ngakuin. Malah jatuhin org, nyalahin mereka, nuduh mereka yg toxic. Padahal sebenernya gua aja yg busuk hati.
Gua tuh selalu merasa gua malaikat, pure, penolong orang di saat kesusahan. Etdah minder pas di sebelah lu.
Padahal aslinya gua baik karena pencitraan, selalu mikirin apa yg org pikirin ttg gua 24/7 ga berenti. Semakin gua pengen dilihat sebagai org yg tulus, semakin ngga tulus gua.
Please gray, balik. Kalau lu uda ngga ada dan ngga bakal ada perasaan sama gua lagi, please ngobrol sama gua lagi.
Gua sadar diri makanya ga berani wa lu lagi. Brengsek banget gua masuk ke idup lu lagi tanpa diizinin.
Anjir alay banget deh pikiran gua. Tapi jujur gua. Bodo amat ah ini kan blog biar gua ga mikirin pendapat org lain. Be myself ok even though it’s visible to me only.
Zaman sekarang lu gabisa ngelakuin apa apa tanpa dijudge. Gua pun paling suka ngejudge sama julidin orang. Sama kaya alkohol, enak tapi ngerusak.
The cabbage wasn’t so good, there were lots of holes bitten by caterpillars
Washed it yesterday, then I coated it with lots of salt. It quickly shrunk because of osmosis.
The gochugaru arrived today yay! Bought only 200 g of it because it was too expensive TT
mix mix mixplease ferment well uwu
Left to room temp for 2 days. My sister requested it to be v sour + not spicy. Hadn’t taste it but the smell was spicy though.
Dad’s hospitalization was today.
i’ve never seen someone from that building
Was bored at resting room in the hospital and my internet plan was out.
This cancer patient wore different wig than last time.
It was heartbreaking to see a youngster suffer cancer. 😦 They hadn’t been introduced the world enough, yet they had to undergo numerous times of chemotherapy. It resulted in hair loss, sensitive issue for youngsters especially girls—as they say, hair is crown. She must’ve missed a lot of adolescence.
After I took these pictures, I just saw the sign of prohibiting pictures/videos taken inside hospital. Apparently there were laws covering the issues. Never mind, I was only going to posy here anyway. Nobody’s gonna know. They’re gonna know. What do they know? How would they know?*
supposed to be chocolate peanut butter banana “ice cream”, but i couldn’t wait 2 hours to eat it
Yum, best combo no cap. Healthier too. It became smoothie bowl instead.
0cheeri0.code.blog 